Dec 4

What a great day we had today! Cael did so great with all his meds, and he is eating better than yesterday! His weight has gone down just a little, so we have to track everything that he eats so they can analyze it and determine if he needs more TPN. Yesterday was good, and today even better. He even ate 2.5 ounces of apples! That is his absolute favorite solid food. We are starting over with the solids and working back up.

I really try hard to be optimistic about everything. Sometimes I find myself a little jealous of those who have kids that are "normal". Because of everything that Cael has been through, he is so far behind in his development. He doesn't crawl, walk, stand on his own, or even get himself up to a sitting position on his own. I'm sure he will get there before too long, but I can't help but compare him to all the other babies of my friends. I see those whose babies are younger than Cael, but already pulling up to a stand or walking, or I see those who are a little bit older who are walking so well and celebrating their first birthdays. Until today, I was even worried he wouldn't be able to eat cake next weekend on his birthday. I'm still not sure we will be ready for him to eat the cake part, for fear of him choking.

I also am a little sad that we won't be able to afford the Christmas and first birthday we always wanted to have with Cael. Fortunately, we have received some presents from some loyal followers for Cael. I'm sure family will also be sending some things for him as well, but I still feel like I am somewhat failing in my inability to give Cael many presents. I know I sound a bit materialistic right now, and I'm a bit ashamed about that. I know there are always families who are way worse off than us. We still have a home and life that we will be able to return to when this is all done. We are out of the hospital (hopefully we won't have to go back before the holidays) with an adorable little boy who is on his way to being all healthy, and we get to spend the holidays with some family who loves us and Cael. I am so thankful to have that.

To this point, it has been the amazing donations of everyone that has gotten us this far, allowing us to spend all our time with Cael. We so appreciate everyone's help. As everyone celebrates the holidays this year, please be extra thankful that you have your children and your health. And if you see fit, please try to help someone who needs it more than you.