September 10

Poor Cael got sick again this evening. I was giving him his oral medicines, and he threw it all up immediately. I think he may have inhaled a little bit of it. I heard him sputter a little when he took it, so I sat him up real quick, and that's when he did it.

He also has a little infection on his finger. It looks like his nail grew into the skin and caused it. It's all red and tender. It's amazing that something so little like that can cause so much worry. For anyone else, it would just be a sore spot that goes away in a few days, but for Cael, they have to put antibiotic ointment on it and keep a close eye on it to make sure it doesn't cause any bigger problems in his little body.

It's such a terrible feeling, knowing he is so sick and there is nothing I can do about it. I know I have done all I can do by bringing him to the hospital. I am just feeling worn down. We have been in hospitals for nearly 2 months, and it seems like we are still so far away from the transplant, let alone going home. I miss home, my routine, home cooked food, trips to the store with Cael, and going out to eat because I want to, not have to.  I don't know of I will ever want to go out for fast food again after all this. Maybe I should spend my extra time finding good recipes so we will have months worth of dinners lined up by the time we go home. Although fast food is better than the hospital food!

We don't have any new news. It seems like we are just waiting around until they see some sort or improvement, aside from his lungs sounding better. Maybe if we can wean him off the oxygen, that will be a better indicator. The doctors visits are getting very short. They just come in, listen to him, and ask if we have any questions, then leave. I wish there was something more they would do to get him better, in respect to the viruses. If whatever they did the last 3 weeks hasn't made any difference in the CT, I feel like something different needs to be done. It's so frustrating to not know anything, and just have to go with what the doctors say. 

I'm just having one of those days. Tomorrow is a new day.